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Quote of the Day

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Why Avoiding Hard Things Keeps You Stuck

For the past couple of years, as I got closer to my 100lb goal, I started diving deeper into why and how I ended up at 270 lbs. I wanted to learn from my mistakes so that when I hit my goal, I could maintain the weight loss forever.

During this period of introspection, I realized my extreme weight gain was likely the result of "avoiding discomfort."

"...Huh? What're you talking about, Fady...?"

Basically, I was in a constant state of "comfort" or at least what I perceived to be comfort. Anything, and I mean anything, that made me feel uncomfortable was met with immediate avoidance. I'd fight against it. I even talked about this in my most recent newsletter:

"Anything even remotely negative or uncomfortable, and I'd instantly turn to eating as my coping mechanism to 'feel better.'"

This buildup of avoiding "doing hard things" eventually put me in a very weakened state where I was unable to actually challenge myself in any meaningful way.

This may be obvious but, how can we ever expect to grow or make real changes if we're not willing to get a little uncomfortable?

On this podcast I was listening to, Dr. Andrew Huberman discussed the neuroscience behind willpower. He explained we have this region in the brain called the anterior mid-cingulate cortex (aMCC).

The aMCC activates when you engage in behaviors you don't want to do. The key here is not just more work but specifically work you DO NOT want to do. The interesting thing is, the aMCC can change size based on your habits and lifestyle. It's especially larger in people who regularly do hard, undesired things.

Scientists found that:

• In obese people, the aMCC is smaller

• It's larger in athletes

• It's very large in people who see themselves as challenged and have overcome those challenges

• In people who live long lives, this area keeps its large size

Scientists are now starting to view this region as being tied to not just willpower, but also the actual will to live.

Graham Weaver echoes this in one of his Stanford lectures. He talks about how our brains are hardwired for comfort and instant gratification. But real, sustainable growth never happens there. It comes when you accept that things will get harder before they improve - when you push through that initial struggle of trying something new and difficult. I don’t want to embarrass Mr. Weaver too much with my exquisite artistic ability, but he draws something out that looks like this:

To go from one peak to another and grow in your life, you’ll likely need to take a step down and face some challenges before reaching the next stage.

That's the paradox - choosing short-term discomfort leads to long-term growth and fulfillment. A life of comfort and ease may feel fantastic in the moment, but it's the hard things that actually prepare you for the inevitable struggles life will throw your way.

Let me repeat that to make sure we're on the same page: You want to intentionally put yourself through hard shit (excuse my french) so that when life inevitably throws hard shit your way, you're prepared and can power through it.

Thinking back, my aMCC must’ve been hilariously tiny…

But the good news: You can grow it. I hope mine is a little larger now 😅.

If you’re struggling like I was, I want to pose a challenge for you:

Do something for your health and fitness today that you really don't want to do.

• Don't want to go to the gym? Just get in the car and see if you still feel like turning around when you arrive. Walk through those doors and see if you still want to leave. Even a short, crappy workout is a win.

• Don't want to eat clean? Try adding one healthy item you don't love to your next meal. I'm not saying overhaul your whole diet, but make yourself a little uncomfortable.

• Don't want to [fill in the blank]? Do it anyway. Break it down into baby steps if needed, but push through that resistance.

Any meaningful fitness goal requires discomfort. That's exactly why you should lean into those things you don't want to do. Small challenges today lead to big growth tomorrow.

It'll be worth it long-term and your aMCC will thank you. Trust me on this one.

Thank you for joining me on today's newsletter.

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